Friday, June 10, 2005

A Single Viewpoint

My life consists of a lot of amateur counseling. Most of my so-called "patients" are single people. They range from college age on up and I find myself discussing singleness quite often in my sessions. The other day I was talking with a friend and the discussion led to the wearing questions we receive of "Are you seeing anyone?" "When are you going to get married?" For a woman who desires that, we dread those questions.

In talking about it, we discovered an interesting twist. We analyzed where those questions come from, primarily. We narrowed it down to two groups -- our families and our church families. What we realized was that in our secular jobs, nobody every asks us that question. Now, maybe we're just two unique females (of which I'd concur), but I find that trait to be something worth blogging.

The more I study God's Word, the more I desire to marry. I can't help it - it's what I was created to be, the helpmate of the man. Yet, in following the biblical woman's role as God created, I need to wait on the Lord and be patient as He brings a man into my life that is a strong, godly leader and willing to pursue me in the dating realm. To the world, this is crazy, they don't understand the Christian worldview. Yet, they're not the ones asking why I haven't snagged a man yet.

In thinking about this, I realized it's because of the worldview. The world has so upturned the view of marriage that if being single is what I am, it must be my choice, so have a great life. The result? They don't ask the pressing, dreaded questions that remind me I'm a party of one. But, their view on premarital sex, living together before marriage, and homosexuality goes against all I believe is true. Yet, I find the fact they don't think I'm weird for still being single encouraging.

On the other hand, my family and church family want the best for me and can't imagine why I'm not married. I'd like to ask them to step out into my world for a while. Take out the worldviewer men from the previous paragraph who aren't an option for me, and throw in the godly single men who are, and the buffet diminishes on options. The world is a different place these days. And, it's ever so different for a single, never-married woman trying to live godly in a world with no absolutes.


Snake in Fall said...
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Anonymous said...

Here is something I have noticed...

You are single:
When are you going to get married and have kids?

You are seeing someone:
You should be single and have a good time and not get serious with anyone!

Never fails that you hear both these comments from family! Drives me nuts. You know what I say...Everyone should do what makes their heart happy!!!

RosieBoo said...

Well said!

Rachel said...

I am married but we are very career-oriented and, although near 30, have no plans for children. We are very happy but are sick and tired of social pressures to have kids. There is an extreme pressure to be "normal." You have to follow your own heart and tune out everyone else.

RosieBoo said...


You know, I've promised myself if I ever get married and have children never to ask people constantly when they are getting married or when they are having children. I have many friends who simply can't have children and it's painful when people ask them that question.