You know you will reach "that age" when you realize that you have morphed into your Mother. Most women discover this when they have children and surprisingly have the same words of their Mother popping out of their mouths. Since I don't have any children of my own, the revelation of becoming my Mother has taken a bit more time. But after some encounters on a recent trip, I can confirm with confidence, yes, I have become my Mother.
My Mom would talk to anyone in her path. In fact, the running joke was my Mom could talk to the wall and not even realize it wasn't talking back. As a young child, this used to annoy me. We'd be in the grocery and she'd strike up a conversation with another shopper and I'd be so embarrassed that I'd crawl on the bottom rack of the grocery cart. It was especially embarrassing when she'd tell stories on me. There was one encounter in a restroom at a restaurant that was quite hilarious. I wasn't with my Mom at the time but she recounted the story later. A woman was in there lamenting to her daughter about some behavioral issues and my Mom, ever the non-stop conversationalist, interjected with affirmation that she dealt with the same thing with me. The woman kindly responded, but interjected a few expletives unexpectedly. Not towards my Mom, but it took my Mom so off guard that she would say that in front of her very young child that I thought it would break her of talking to strangers. Um, not so much.
On a recent trip to visit friends in Virginia, I began to observe this characteristic in myself. Heaven help me, I've become my Mother! I'm single and find myself traversing through life solo quite a bit. I'll chalk up my bent to be like her on the fact that I need somebody to talk to along the way. I found myself making small talk with folks at the airport gate waiting to board. This is when I decided to pay attention to myself and figure out if I truly am my Mother. Here are just a few examples to confirm my findings...
As I left the hotel on day two, the front desk clerk said, "I feel like you've been here for weeks!" Hmm, just checked in yesterday. I told her I'd take that as a compliment, but I'd only been there for a day. She said, "But weren't you just here two weeks ago?" Actually, I was there about six months ago. She said, "Oh, well, it's hard to forget a friendly face." I told her I was glad I could make such an impression and it was good to know I had friendly faces that will remember me when I visit.
I went to see friends in a local community theater production of The Wizard of Oz. As we were waiting for the doors to open the second night of the performance, I struck up a conversation with the family in front of me. In the short time we were standing there, I discovered they had brought their granddaughter to the play, had seen The Miracle Worker at a local theater that afternoon, been rear-ended after that play, and decided to go ahead and come on to the evening production of the Wizard to have a good ending to the day. At intermission, we hooked back up again and discussed the performers and I gave her the background info I knew from my inside connections with the cast. I also found out the husband was native to the area and an alumni of the high school my friend's daughter attends. And, the wife is an Army Brat. After that encounter there was no denying how proud my Mom would be that I'm carrying on her tradition.
As I departed for home, I took my rental back to the airport and as I got out of the car and began to babble on to the rental agents, the very nice rental car jockey, who was an older gentlemen that spoke broken English, said, "Would you like ride to terminal?" I said, "Bless your heart, I'd love that!" The other option is dragging your bags on the rental bus back to the terminal, normally replete with a ga-zillion people with stacks and stacks of luggage in your face. I hopped in the passenger side of the car and off we went. Yes, even on the short ride to the terminal I made small talk. What a sweet man. I tipped him, though I wanted to give him a hug because of his kindness, but thought that was too much. Oh my word, I've not only become my Mother, but I'm going overboard.
Reflecting back on those encounters, and many others that I pay more attention to now, I am not at all embarrassed to say I've become my Mother. She was a precious lady who drizzled her bubbly-ness wherever she went. If I can provide a few drops of bubbly everywhere I go, I will be a happy girl.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
The Ride of Redemption
He had found himself in financial distress. Due to life circumstances, the challenge of making ends meet had become a daily task. We are never prepared for some of the obstacles that come before us on this journey called life, many which come at our doing, most of which are out of our control. Such was the plight of this man. To address these constraints, measures had to be taken. It was time to sell one of his most prized possessions - his motorcycle. For those riders out there, you know the freedom that comes from strapping on the back of a bike, letting the wind whip around you and being free to ride, releasing your worries and woes to the wind. It was just like that for this man. An escape from the pressures of life that were weighing him down and a chance to commune with The Creator while riding amidst His Creation. But, he had to let that go.
As offers were being made, this man's Dad stepped into the picture and made a counteroffer. This offer consisted of strict instructions - his son would need to house and care for the bike, and let him know when he wanted to ride. No explanation was necessary from this Dad. The motive behind it was clear. He had watched his son suffer long enough and couldn't bear to watch him lose something he'd worked so hard to own. This Father was redeeming what his son could not keep himself. What sacrifice for one he loved.
We find ourselves in deep distress. Our lives consist of sin and we exist in a fallen world. We definitely can't do anything on our own. We have no way to live in freedom, or shake off the worries and woes of our lives. But, there was a Father once, a Heavenly Father, who saw our need. A need we couldn't fill on our own. We were a people without hope. But this Heavenly Father sacrificed His Only Son, Jesus, so our lives could be redeemed. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, we are free to ride. We can live in freedom from the bondage of our sin here on earth, and as His Children, when we accept Him, we live with the unending hope of eternal life with Him when we leave this world. What sacrifice for the ones He loved.
"But when the right time came, God sent His Son, born of woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children." - Galatians 4:4-5
I am thankful I am redeemed...and free to ride eternally with Him.
As offers were being made, this man's Dad stepped into the picture and made a counteroffer. This offer consisted of strict instructions - his son would need to house and care for the bike, and let him know when he wanted to ride. No explanation was necessary from this Dad. The motive behind it was clear. He had watched his son suffer long enough and couldn't bear to watch him lose something he'd worked so hard to own. This Father was redeeming what his son could not keep himself. What sacrifice for one he loved.
We find ourselves in deep distress. Our lives consist of sin and we exist in a fallen world. We definitely can't do anything on our own. We have no way to live in freedom, or shake off the worries and woes of our lives. But, there was a Father once, a Heavenly Father, who saw our need. A need we couldn't fill on our own. We were a people without hope. But this Heavenly Father sacrificed His Only Son, Jesus, so our lives could be redeemed. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, we are free to ride. We can live in freedom from the bondage of our sin here on earth, and as His Children, when we accept Him, we live with the unending hope of eternal life with Him when we leave this world. What sacrifice for the ones He loved.
"But when the right time came, God sent His Son, born of woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children." - Galatians 4:4-5
I am thankful I am redeemed...and free to ride eternally with Him.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Dear Mom
Dear Mom,
On this day ten years ago, you passed from this life into the next. When I think back to that day, and the days following, I cannot even fathom how I went through the motions aside from the grace of God. It was such a surreal time as I sat in your hospital room the day before you passed, knowing your time was short and you were already drifting out of this world. My mind reflected on so many things...every moment of my life up until that point...every moment I would now live without you here...and reflecting that 35 years ago that day you were also in a hospital bed, holding a baby you'd longed for after many, many years...me. I had no idea what the future held and I couldn't imagine you not being here to experience it with me.
I miss you daily, but am surrounded by things that trigger sweet memories. My backpack for work sits on a stool that you painted. When I reach for a knife to chop vegetables, they sit in a wooden holder that you painted in a class we took together. I pull a book off the shelf and see the inscription you wrote. And, when the memories that I have surrounding me in my house aren't enough, I go to the local craft store and stroll around the aisles you and I walked together before. Or I pop in a movie that we both loved. Or open a bottle of Pleasures perfume and take a whiff of your signature scent.
I knew my life would never be the same, and after ten years, it surely isn't. I've worked at four different places in the last ten years, but back working with the same team that walked through losing you with me. For that, I'm thankful. God has used your life to mold me for ministry. Somehow I feel that was a prayer you prayed that I may have never known for my ministry to be as vibrant as it is and be grounded in the foundation of the legacy you left me. Losing you showed me the void that so many women have by not having a godly, wonderful Mother like you. Because of that, I've been able to touch the lives of so many young women...more than I could ever give birth to...and hopefully make a difference in their lives. I've stood before groups of women sharing my testimony and teaching, all laced with stories about you and the lessons you've taught me. Your life lives on, Mom.
I've become you. I talk to random people I don't know. I sometimes speak the truth a little too quickly. I cry a bit too easily at sappy movies and books. But, I still haven't finished an afghan...one of my goals after you passed away. You always made afghans and blankets for new babies and newlyweds. After two failed attempts, I'm on blanket number three and hope third times charm. If you were here, you'd have finished the first two that looked a bit like a failure to me. I long to be more and more like you to keep your remnant alive in this world.
I could spend days, oh really months, with you filling you in on all the things in my life that have happened in the last ten years. I'd sense we'd shed some tears and you'd hold me while I shared the saddest times. And you'd remind me that it's these times where we learn the most about what God is teaching us. I'd want to introduce you to all the people who've come into my life that you never met...but you'd love like I do. We'd laugh about the funny times...oh how I miss your laughter! But as much as I wish you were here, I know you are living in a place that is unlike anything I can imagine and have a fully glorified and restored body....something you left this world without but now you have. I know you are heavenly beautiful...because you were oh so beautiful on earth.
The one prayer you lifted up has yet to be answered...I'm still not married, your one request to the Lord for me. Like your prayers that were lifted up for 18 years for a child, I am not giving up on that longing. You would be happy to know that there is an army of people praying that for me in your earthly absence. Your prayers are continuing. As much for my own desire do I pray that happens one day to fulfill a longing I know you had for me.
Until we meet again in that city that lies four square, my love for you never ends, my Mother, my Rose,
From Your Rose
On this day ten years ago, you passed from this life into the next. When I think back to that day, and the days following, I cannot even fathom how I went through the motions aside from the grace of God. It was such a surreal time as I sat in your hospital room the day before you passed, knowing your time was short and you were already drifting out of this world. My mind reflected on so many things...every moment of my life up until that point...every moment I would now live without you here...and reflecting that 35 years ago that day you were also in a hospital bed, holding a baby you'd longed for after many, many years...me. I had no idea what the future held and I couldn't imagine you not being here to experience it with me.
I miss you daily, but am surrounded by things that trigger sweet memories. My backpack for work sits on a stool that you painted. When I reach for a knife to chop vegetables, they sit in a wooden holder that you painted in a class we took together. I pull a book off the shelf and see the inscription you wrote. And, when the memories that I have surrounding me in my house aren't enough, I go to the local craft store and stroll around the aisles you and I walked together before. Or I pop in a movie that we both loved. Or open a bottle of Pleasures perfume and take a whiff of your signature scent.
I knew my life would never be the same, and after ten years, it surely isn't. I've worked at four different places in the last ten years, but back working with the same team that walked through losing you with me. For that, I'm thankful. God has used your life to mold me for ministry. Somehow I feel that was a prayer you prayed that I may have never known for my ministry to be as vibrant as it is and be grounded in the foundation of the legacy you left me. Losing you showed me the void that so many women have by not having a godly, wonderful Mother like you. Because of that, I've been able to touch the lives of so many young women...more than I could ever give birth to...and hopefully make a difference in their lives. I've stood before groups of women sharing my testimony and teaching, all laced with stories about you and the lessons you've taught me. Your life lives on, Mom.
I've become you. I talk to random people I don't know. I sometimes speak the truth a little too quickly. I cry a bit too easily at sappy movies and books. But, I still haven't finished an afghan...one of my goals after you passed away. You always made afghans and blankets for new babies and newlyweds. After two failed attempts, I'm on blanket number three and hope third times charm. If you were here, you'd have finished the first two that looked a bit like a failure to me. I long to be more and more like you to keep your remnant alive in this world.
I could spend days, oh really months, with you filling you in on all the things in my life that have happened in the last ten years. I'd sense we'd shed some tears and you'd hold me while I shared the saddest times. And you'd remind me that it's these times where we learn the most about what God is teaching us. I'd want to introduce you to all the people who've come into my life that you never met...but you'd love like I do. We'd laugh about the funny times...oh how I miss your laughter! But as much as I wish you were here, I know you are living in a place that is unlike anything I can imagine and have a fully glorified and restored body....something you left this world without but now you have. I know you are heavenly beautiful...because you were oh so beautiful on earth.
The one prayer you lifted up has yet to be answered...I'm still not married, your one request to the Lord for me. Like your prayers that were lifted up for 18 years for a child, I am not giving up on that longing. You would be happy to know that there is an army of people praying that for me in your earthly absence. Your prayers are continuing. As much for my own desire do I pray that happens one day to fulfill a longing I know you had for me.
Until we meet again in that city that lies four square, my love for you never ends, my Mother, my Rose,
From Your Rose
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Musings for the Week - Sightings, Sweet Compliments and Speaking Engagements
1. I see the most exotic things on my short drive to and from work. My commute went from 30-45 minutes one way to 10-15 minutes one way, but I have to say the view is much more enjoyable. I've seen friendly construction workers along my route waving at the passing rush hour crowd. The wildlife I see is amazing. Chickens....multiple geese...deer. You'd think I lived in the country. During the season when the little geese are born, I normally have to yield to Mother Goose leading her pack across the street in front of my building. Never mess with Mother Goose. One afternoon on the way home, I had to dart to miss a deer crossing the street in the heat of summer, certainly in search of water. This summer we all were. The lunch commutes have also been interesting but not in the happy wildlife way. One day on my way to lunch I witnessed a car accident in the middle of Hurstbourne Lane. Even though I wasn't involved, it was startling. Another day, a car jetted around a line of vehicles waiting to turn left, clearly an illegal move. It was one of those times you wished a cop was around. Well, he was, and took off after him. Three cheers for our local government officials! The most unpleasant sighting? On my way to lunch, I had to go around a car with their flashers on that had stopped in the middle of the road so one of the passengers could, um, er, relieve themselves. Quite non-appetizing on the way to lunch.
2. My blogging has decreased because my life has increased. I have a thousand ideas in my head for content but never time to process and put on paper...or screen...or whatever. One of my distractions is my new Kindle. The end of June I decided to take the plunge and buy an e-reader. Over the last two years my reading has increased, which I love, and costing out the price of books over time and the investment in the Kindle just made sense...especially when the price dropped. The first book I read on my Kindle was The Help. I have a theory about movie theaters...the first movie you see there forever shapes your opinion of the theater...until another movie trumps that experience. As movie theaters go, so goes e-readers. I had heard great things about The Help and thought this was the perfect first read to break in my Kindle. And I chose wisely. That book is one of the few books I've read in a while that I just didn't want to put down. If you haven't read it, do so. I think it should be required reading for high school students...it's just that good. I just finished the second book on my Kindle...Cutting for Stone. A much longer book and although it was a slower read due to all the medical procedure descriptions, it was worth the read. By the end of the book, if you are wanting to shed a tear for the character you've followed throughout this journey, it's a good book. And I did.
3. You know those days when you just need a pick me up? The selfish side of you wants something pleasant and uplifting to fall from the sky. I've had a couple of those moments lately when just that sort of thing happened. Well, nothing fell out of the sky, but I had some unexpected compliments that just made my day. The first time was a few weeks ago at the hair salon. The designers there don't accept tips, which is refreshing, because they hock their products where every sale gets them commission in lieu of tips. After my wash, the designer wanted to try out their new lip tints on me, of which I always oblige where free beauty treatments are involved. As she was applying the color...Verbena...she said "You have got the best lips!" Sigh..I'd always hoped to hear that from the man of my dreams, but nonetheless, it made my day. A week or so later, I was shopping at the grocery for items to make some dishes for the Labor Day picnics I was attending and was in the produce aisle to get some fresh veggies. A lady was next to me on her cell phone and I whipped around her not really paying much more attention to her. Shortly thereafter, she came up to me and said, "Excuse me, but what perfume are you wearing?" I had to admit it was Bath and Body Works...I always wear the lotion or spray. This day I was wearing Warm Vanilla Sugar Spray. She said, "Well, it smells wonderful...and I've had a cold and I can finally breathe!..and that's a very good thing!" Ah, it's the small things.
4. I ordered some supplies yesterday from a shipping supply store for a promotional mailout we are doing. I love my job and if I told you the cool package we're putting together, you would know why. Let's just say it involves silver platters and fake money. If I tell you more, I'd have to kill you. I ordered boxes to ship these said silver platters and as I completed the order, they told me I was eligible for a free gift. What's the free gift? My choices were a Hall & Oates Greatest Hits CD or a Hall & Oates Christmas CD. Now those two options are top of my list of CDs I'm longing to buy...not. I guess that's why they call it "free." I didn't choose either one and figured the supply company could just surprise me.
5. Back in April, I was asked by a sweet friend if I would speak at the women's brunch at her church in September. Her husband is pastor and I've known them for years. Beth grew up at our church and met Jason while he was in Seminary here. I love speaking and ministering to women and having this opportunity is a true blessing. I'll be speaking on the same topic I spoke about at my church's women's conference in March, "Where is God When You are Lonely?" I cease never to be amazed at how God provides these kinds of opportunities from out of the blue. Truly, they aren't from out of the blue, but are sovereignly timed in my journey of ministry.
2. My blogging has decreased because my life has increased. I have a thousand ideas in my head for content but never time to process and put on paper...or screen...or whatever. One of my distractions is my new Kindle. The end of June I decided to take the plunge and buy an e-reader. Over the last two years my reading has increased, which I love, and costing out the price of books over time and the investment in the Kindle just made sense...especially when the price dropped. The first book I read on my Kindle was The Help. I have a theory about movie theaters...the first movie you see there forever shapes your opinion of the theater...until another movie trumps that experience. As movie theaters go, so goes e-readers. I had heard great things about The Help and thought this was the perfect first read to break in my Kindle. And I chose wisely. That book is one of the few books I've read in a while that I just didn't want to put down. If you haven't read it, do so. I think it should be required reading for high school students...it's just that good. I just finished the second book on my Kindle...Cutting for Stone. A much longer book and although it was a slower read due to all the medical procedure descriptions, it was worth the read. By the end of the book, if you are wanting to shed a tear for the character you've followed throughout this journey, it's a good book. And I did.
3. You know those days when you just need a pick me up? The selfish side of you wants something pleasant and uplifting to fall from the sky. I've had a couple of those moments lately when just that sort of thing happened. Well, nothing fell out of the sky, but I had some unexpected compliments that just made my day. The first time was a few weeks ago at the hair salon. The designers there don't accept tips, which is refreshing, because they hock their products where every sale gets them commission in lieu of tips. After my wash, the designer wanted to try out their new lip tints on me, of which I always oblige where free beauty treatments are involved. As she was applying the color...Verbena...she said "You have got the best lips!" Sigh..I'd always hoped to hear that from the man of my dreams, but nonetheless, it made my day. A week or so later, I was shopping at the grocery for items to make some dishes for the Labor Day picnics I was attending and was in the produce aisle to get some fresh veggies. A lady was next to me on her cell phone and I whipped around her not really paying much more attention to her. Shortly thereafter, she came up to me and said, "Excuse me, but what perfume are you wearing?" I had to admit it was Bath and Body Works...I always wear the lotion or spray. This day I was wearing Warm Vanilla Sugar Spray. She said, "Well, it smells wonderful...and I've had a cold and I can finally breathe!..and that's a very good thing!" Ah, it's the small things.
4. I ordered some supplies yesterday from a shipping supply store for a promotional mailout we are doing. I love my job and if I told you the cool package we're putting together, you would know why. Let's just say it involves silver platters and fake money. If I tell you more, I'd have to kill you. I ordered boxes to ship these said silver platters and as I completed the order, they told me I was eligible for a free gift. What's the free gift? My choices were a Hall & Oates Greatest Hits CD or a Hall & Oates Christmas CD. Now those two options are top of my list of CDs I'm longing to buy...not. I guess that's why they call it "free." I didn't choose either one and figured the supply company could just surprise me.
5. Back in April, I was asked by a sweet friend if I would speak at the women's brunch at her church in September. Her husband is pastor and I've known them for years. Beth grew up at our church and met Jason while he was in Seminary here. I love speaking and ministering to women and having this opportunity is a true blessing. I'll be speaking on the same topic I spoke about at my church's women's conference in March, "Where is God When You are Lonely?" I cease never to be amazed at how God provides these kinds of opportunities from out of the blue. Truly, they aren't from out of the blue, but are sovereignly timed in my journey of ministry.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Runaway Bride
On any given weekend, you can tune into one of a variety of cable channels and catch a viewing of the romantic comedy, Runaway Bride. The story is of Maggie Carpenter, played by Julia Roberts, who has a difficult time finishing a wedding ceremony...her own. Ike Graham, played by Richard Gere, is a reporter in need of a career-saving article and decides to do an in-depth look at this phenomenon known as "the runaway bride." Whilst visiting her little hometown of Hale, Maryland, he interviews all of her past beaus and the bride herself. As any romantic comedy aficionado can predict, Ike falls for said runaway bride. Ike figures he can keep her from running if she just keeps her eye on him.
During the ceremony, Maggie is heading down the aisle. All is good. Her eyes are locked on her groom. Then, flash, a camera flash goes off and she's distracted. One little distraction and she hesitates, then runs out of the church making Ike her latest victim. I won't tell you how the movie ends in case you haven't seen it, but it's definitely worth watching.
As a child of God, I am so easily distracted from Him. Ooo, shiny object! Oooo, puppy! Ooo, squirrel! Ooo, latest book to read! Ooo, my phone is chiming for my attention! Ooo, Starbucks! Ooo, my need to socialize! Ooo, the latest television show! One flash of something else and my focus on Him quickly changes to that "something else." You could say I am the Runaway Bride. Oh, those that know me best know that when the day comes I marry (and I hopefully say 'when', not 'if'!) I'll be the most committed bride on the planet because I have waited and prayed so long for the man God has for me. But in my spiritual life, sadly, I am the Runaway Bride.
I'm the bride of Christ, part of His Church, and He is my Bridegroom. I should long to keep my eyes fixed on Him, never wavering, much like I dream of keeping my eyes on that future husband I long to meet at the end of the wedding aisle. Like many girls, I dream of that day. And, I can't imagine taking my eyes off the man who loves me enough to die for me and has pursued me to be his very own. But, wait, isn't that what Christ did for me? He died for me. He pursued me to be His very own. Oh, that my heart would be as devoted to Christ as it is to my future husband.
I should meditate more on this passage in Hebrews, "Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured the cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's Throne."
He did more than slay dragons for me, or fight tigers for me. He did more than buy a diamond ring to place on my left hand. He gave His Life for me. Shed His Blood for me. And His Righteousness covers my sin so I am white as snow...adorned like a beautiful bride. May the flashes of life never distract me from the One who loves me so.
During the ceremony, Maggie is heading down the aisle. All is good. Her eyes are locked on her groom. Then, flash, a camera flash goes off and she's distracted. One little distraction and she hesitates, then runs out of the church making Ike her latest victim. I won't tell you how the movie ends in case you haven't seen it, but it's definitely worth watching.
As a child of God, I am so easily distracted from Him. Ooo, shiny object! Oooo, puppy! Ooo, squirrel! Ooo, latest book to read! Ooo, my phone is chiming for my attention! Ooo, Starbucks! Ooo, my need to socialize! Ooo, the latest television show! One flash of something else and my focus on Him quickly changes to that "something else." You could say I am the Runaway Bride. Oh, those that know me best know that when the day comes I marry (and I hopefully say 'when', not 'if'!) I'll be the most committed bride on the planet because I have waited and prayed so long for the man God has for me. But in my spiritual life, sadly, I am the Runaway Bride.
I'm the bride of Christ, part of His Church, and He is my Bridegroom. I should long to keep my eyes fixed on Him, never wavering, much like I dream of keeping my eyes on that future husband I long to meet at the end of the wedding aisle. Like many girls, I dream of that day. And, I can't imagine taking my eyes off the man who loves me enough to die for me and has pursued me to be his very own. But, wait, isn't that what Christ did for me? He died for me. He pursued me to be His very own. Oh, that my heart would be as devoted to Christ as it is to my future husband.
I should meditate more on this passage in Hebrews, "Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured the cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's Throne."
He did more than slay dragons for me, or fight tigers for me. He did more than buy a diamond ring to place on my left hand. He gave His Life for me. Shed His Blood for me. And His Righteousness covers my sin so I am white as snow...adorned like a beautiful bride. May the flashes of life never distract me from the One who loves me so.
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