Monday, January 07, 2013

It's Yours, Lord

In the blogosphere world, many folks choose one word to define their year ahead.  As 2013 is seven days in, I thought I'd share the phrase that I've chosen to define my year..."It's Yours, Lord."

As someone who is slowly being weaned from being in control, and has a Type A personality and OCD tendencies, letting go of the reins of life is somewhat of a challenge.  Over the past couple of years, specifically the past year, I feel like I've been in a whirlwind.  With job changes and life changes, I was like a duck who appeared gliding along the surface from appearances, but underneath the water my little webbed feet were paddling like mad.  

A byproduct of this tornadic life has been my lack of passion and desire for growing my relationship with Christ and being in the Word.  Oh, I have continued to pray daily and study the Word, but it's been without the zeal and excitement I've had in the past.  You know those times, when you read something in Scripture and go, "oh em gee, that is exactly what I needed to hear!"  I believe part of the reason for that was my duck-like survival mode.  In trying to keep all the plates in my life spinning, I felt the need to drive the vehicle too much.  It was much like driving a car without power steering.  If you've ever driven a car like that, or had your power steering go out, it feels like you are moving Mt. Everest just to turn a corner.  But, you keep doing it to go on down the road.  That's how I seemed to drive through life.  Keep turning that wheel in the direction I wanted - concerned with my needs, my future, fretting over multiple things and thinking driving myself would solve that - which was a myth.  But funny how we think we can do whatever we need to make things right without God's leadership.

I spent part of my holiday break in Alabama with sweet friends, Paige, Steve and Paige's parents, and cannot express how much that visit was needed.  It was good to get away and reset the buttons and focus on 2013.  On New Year's Eve, Steve had found a local church that was doing a silent, self-led communion service.  Prior to going to the New Year's Eve party at Ft. Benning with their youth, we stopped there to participate.  And it was, in a word - amazing.  As I read Scripture, prayed, read through hymns, and observed the sacrifice Jesus made for me, it became even clearer that I needed to let God have all of me in 2013.  Even at the New Year's Eve party later, as Paige shared a devotion with the youth, she shared almost the identical thing with the kids, indicating it was what God was impressing on her for 2013.  And it was then, my phrase was born - "It's Yours Lord."

We're commanded to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, and soul, but doing that 100% is impossible in our sinful state.  But, I know that I can fight against the tide with my webbed feet, or I can turn my vehicle in directions in which I want to go, but unless I strive to surrender fully to Him, it is all for naught.  I pray that the year ahead is full of blessings.  But no matter, I know that God is planning all for my good. And in that promise is where I rest.

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