Thursday, January 21, 2010

Lessons Learned from The Blind Side

Anyone that knows me well is familiar with my passion for investing in the lives of others, especially young women. When I get discouraged in that calling on my life, I normally pop in one of my two life-affirming movies, Mr. Holland's Opus and Mona Lisa Smile. They portray to me what my purpose in life is all about. When I first saw the trailer for The Blind Side a few months back, I almost cried. Could it be another life-affirming movie for my list? It has been out for a couple of months but with the holidays, I hadn't made it to the theater. But over the MLK Holiday weekend, I was determined to see this movie...and I did. And, I cried....multiple times. I have no children of my own...adopted or otherwise...but I do have a bevy of spiritual children that I love as if I birthed them myself. I've watched them walk down wedding aisles, birth babies, calm their troubled hearts and hugged them when the tears were flowing. This movie stirred all those emotions and callings in my heart.

My comfort friend, Amy, who I like to call "mashed potatoes" (it's a comfort food, comfort friend..get it?), is one person who can weep with me over the message from this movie. She always challenges me to write a blog post after seeing movies like this and after ruminating on the movie for a few days, I've come up with the lessons learned from the movie....warning...spoilers ahead...but I'm probably the last person on the planet to see this movie...

1. When you decide to invest in the lives of others, some people will think you are crazy - Leigh Anne Touhy had her husband stop the car ala the Good Samaritan to pick up a lonely and cold Michael Oher and take him in for the night. I'd guess 99.9% of the world wouldn't do that. Yet, when you know in your heart a life is in need, nothing seems crazy to you. And, sometimes, you get those unexpected blessings. I loved the scene the morning after Michael's first night at the Tuohy home. Leigh Anne descends the stairs looking for him when she finds all of his bed linens neatly folded on the couch where he slept. God brings those little blessings into the lives of us crazy folk that love people more than we love our common sense sometimes.

2. Every life is different, so know your audience - When Michael began to play football, he just wasn't getting it. Leigh Anne was at a practice one day and marched right on to the field, pulled Michael aside and explained the game of football and his role from the viewpoint of protecting his family...the Tuohys. She knew enough about football to make the analogy and it clicked. After her teaching lesson, the coach came over to her and asked what she said to him. She said "You really need to get to know your players. Michael scored in the 98th percentile in protective instincts." Every person has a unique personality and to invest in them means you have to know how to communicate to them and you can't do that the same way with every person. I'd go so far as to say no two people are exactly the same. Know your audience or you'll ultimately fail.

3. Investing in the lives of others is full of obstacles and challenges - Driving your BMW in the midst of the ghetto is no easy task. Nor confronting a thug as confidently as Leigh Anne did and letting him know she was an NRA, gun-packing woman. Nor coming face to face with the mother that was so messed up she didn't know how to care about her son. Investing in the lives of others is challenging and messy. My associate pastor, Jeff Elieff, always quotes this verse "Where there are no oxen, the feeding trough is empty, but an abundant harvest comes from the strength of an ox." - Proverbs 14:4. Oxen make messes that you have to clean up. If you want a clean feeding trough, you'll most likely have to pull your own weight in the fields. The same is true of people. People make messes that we have to help them clean up. But without these precious lives, where would our world be?

4. A life invested may never say it, but they do love and appreciate you - When the time came that the Tuohys wanted to become Michael's legal guardian, they sat him down and hesitantly asked him if he wanted to be part of their family. His response? "I thought I was already part of the family." Sometimes we think our investment is worthless, or not making a difference, but then, somewhere out in left field comes a fly ball that bonks us on the head. I'll never forget a wooden angel my sweet Elise gave me one time and said that the inscription was how she felt about me and it humbled me. That angel still sits in my kitchen as a reminder. I'm always amazed when one of my spiritual children sends me a card, texts me a message, gives me a gift, or simply says "I love you" unprompted. Rarely does this happen that tears do not flow.

5. Your life will change more than their life will change - Picking my favorite line from the movie is tough. But the one that sums up the message of the movie to me was during a scene when Leigh Anne was having lunch with her girlfriends. One of them said "You are changing that boy's life." Leigh Anne simply responded, "No, he's changing mine." Amen, Leigh Anne, Amen. When we embark on the journey of investing in the life of another, the ride may seem as bumpy as can be. But all those bumps lead to glorious blessings, and oh so worth the trip.


Alisa said...

Love this, Rosie! Excellent. I love that the Touhys are *real*. Park the piety - people need us to be r-e-a-l.

Anonymous said...

Great job! This is "why I teach special ed." in a nutshell. I love people more than I have common sense.
And why I can't get myself off the adoption websites....again.....
Thanks for being affirming when I get on my save the world kicks, and understanding also that it's not just a "kick." :-) And now if you would please google "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood and blog on that.... I can't seem to be intelligible on big ideas. More of a Seinfeld author...

dheepan said...

that was a very touching movie and your thoughts are really good. i will try to invest my time and effort in others that can change mine and their life
this is the first time i am visiting ur blog and i love it..i'll keep following

have a great day