A peek inside my quirky, analytical, creative mind....My style is much like a sprinkle of Erma Bombeck, a dash of Dave Barry, and a good helping of humor and spiritual application throughout.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The UnaPopper
Many of us at work enjoy an afternoon snack of microwave popcorn. I have personally developed an affinity for Orville Redenbacher's organic microwave popcorn, especially the Salt & Cracked Pepper. There is a talent to popping microwave popcorn. You can't always trust that little "Popcorn" button on the microwave. Most of the time you need to monitor your popcorn as if it were on the stove top popping in a pan. One fateful Friday afternoon, some popper decided to make a tasty snack...but, alas, it went bad quickly. In no time at all the office was full of smoke and the smell was wafting throughout our cubicles. Although I have come out with some burned kernels in my past, this popper was not me.
The evidence of a major burning was so prevalent that we were concerned that something serious was going on. One of my co-workers headed in the direction of the smoke and found the tar-like bag of burnt popcorn tossed in the garbage with the smoke still rolling. He immediately threw the bag out the side door and went to retrieve a fan to start circulating the smoke outside. This reminded me of that Office episode when Ryan started a fire by microwaving his lunch. But the hilarity had only begun.
After this incident, and the fact that we didn't know who had committed the crime, our CFO decided to send an email to the company as a reminder of proper food preparation procedure. The greatest line ever in a company email appeared as a public service annoucement: "So, remember, please pop responsibly." Priceless. The humor in my everyday life is simply amazing.
We have donned the culprit with the moniker - "The UnaPopper" - and we have yet to uncover their true identity. But, we have a great story to share, fodder for an upcoming episode, and the remains of a crinkly bag of burnt popcorn that the birds are still feeding upon outside our building.
Friday, May 06, 2011
The Non-Mother Mother's Day
As I was praying and thinking this morning, I was dwelling on all those women who aren't Mothers, like I am. Mothers' Day has never been quite the challenge to me, even though I haven't been a mother, until the first year I lost my Mom and endured that holiday. It was tough. You see, my Mom was an amazing woman. Anyone who knew her could be assured that their life would never be the same after meeting her. She touched so many people in so many ways - emotionally and physically. And, she herself struggled with being a Mom. My parents waited 18 years to have their one and only child - me. Mother's Day holds a special place in my life because it was on that day in 1974 that I decided to make my decision to follow Christ publicly and take that next step of obedience towards baptism. As a thinker (even as an 8 year old), I was slow in making that commitment after many questions and inward thinking, and listening to pastors and teachers. It was the greatest decision of my life and making that public on Mother's Day seemed fitting since my Mom was so pivotal in my coming to Christ.
So, back to the discussion at hand - women who have never been Mothers. I'm sure there are many out there who never desired to be Mothers, so the day isn't a bit challenging. But, I know there are plenty out there who long to be Mothers and just never have had the opportunity or maybe never will. They overflow with feelings of nurturing that go unfulfilled. For them, I hold a special place in my heart. As I grew up, I just figured one day I'd marry, we'd have children, etc. But when I got older and the marriage thing hadn't happened, and the biological clock was ticking louder, I accepted the fact that I'd never bear a child. I know all you biblical scholars out there will remind me of Abraham and Sarah, but whew, a baby at 90 isn't my preferred way to motherhood. Unlike marriage, which I still long and hope to experience one day, motherhood isn't a burning desire for me. I thank God for aligning my heart to His Will in that way, knowing it is His Protection from me grieving what I do not have.
Lest we get mired in the downer of those of us that are non-Mothers, let me speak a word of encouragement. If you fit that mold, take heart. There are so many "children" out there for you to spread your love. I am more than blessed with "children" that are not my own that I have loved on and nurtured throughout the years. There is something safe for a young person who loves their own Mom, but just wants to talk openly with someone like their Mom without the bias of their own Mom's perspective. Being in that role of a non-Mom, helps me retain the 'cool' factor, but speak the truth as their older, wiser (hopefully!) friend. I didn't change their diapers or know every fault they have, or every quirk...or even how messy their room can get. But I see in them someone with potential and growth that their own Mom may see, but due to the daily routine of care and feeding, it gets clouded. A Mom who can achieve a balance there is a Mom worth shadowing. It's that balance that is a challenge for Moms and I admire those that do it, and do it well.
On this Mothers' Day, if you find yourself motherless - either you have no Mom, or you aren't one yourself - love on some young one around you who needs that nurturing. I hope to do that myself but before I do, I'll reach for that book of Family Circus cartoons that my Mom gave me not long before her passing. I'll read through it and read every note she left on all the pages making reference to our personal experiences as a family and how funny they were. My Mom was the greatest and if I can be just a slice of who she was, I'm grateful.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A Royal Wedding
Diana was a normal girl, living a normal life dreaming of what I dreamed of and had achieved it. She was the future Queen and even more important, loved being a Mommy to those two boys. It was soon after the second birth that the fairytale began to fade. And, I followed that road with her too. I hurt for her as her marriage crumbled and as she tried to be the best Mom ever and move on with her life after her dream prince had always loved another. A sad ending became sadder in 1997 when a fatal accident took Diana's life. I, again, followed every step of the mourning and funeral and couldn't believe that 16 years after that wedding day it was over. I remember watching William and Harry walking behind her casket as it rolled towards Westminster Abbey to her funeral and grieved more for the loss of a mother to those boys. Somehow I hoped that her influence in their lives would redeem what was lost. Yesterday, I believe it did.
Once again, I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to travel to a friend's house to watch the royal wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton. Although I hadn't soaked up every detail of Kate's life as I did Diana, the fairytale excitement was still there. I watched with anticipation of seeing her dress, seeing William look at her for the first time at the altar and that kiss on the balcony. Her dress was exquisite, William told her she was beautiful when he laid eyes on her and we got two kisses on the balcony, not just one. Kate handled the whole affair with grace and when you looked at these two young people who had been friends for years before dating, you could see those glances of inside jokes and understandings that come from two best friends getting married.
The ceremony and the whole wedding event was just as I'd hoped. The sermon by the Bishop of London was suprisingly refreshing. Those Anglicans got it going on. My favorite part was this...
"In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life could flow through them into the future. William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that He gave Himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. And in the spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each other."
You can read the full sermon here, but it was articulately given and a reminder to the two billion people watching of the simple gospel - "a generous God who so loved the world that He gave Himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ." Amen.
As I reflected on the day and watched Will and Kate wave to the crowds, leave the Palace, I had that reassurance that Diana's life wasn't for naught. For here is a man marrying the love of his life and looking ahead to a future monarchy being built. A young man whose life was formed and shaped by a Mother who told him "marry for true love" and taught him how to live as normal of a life living in the spotlight of the British media. May those offspring of Will and Kate truly reflect their influence as they "flow into the future."
Friday, April 15, 2011
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum - The Sequel
1. The flight to and from our Miami destination took us through Charlotte airport. Whoever designed that airport didn't factor in growth, or the lack of time between connections. Unlike Atlanta, or other larger airports that have different layouts, if you land at Concourse B and your connecting flight is in E, you have to hike through every letter in between. As I boarded the plane in Charlotte for Miami, I headed to my seat - 14F - and found it occupied by a man with his wife next to him. Before I could say anything, they said "Oh we sat in the wrong row." As their lunch was sprawled out before them (and I didn't have time to grab food during the connection and wouldn't even get a peanut on this flight), I didn't have much mercy. The man in Row 13 immediately offered to let me sit up there, but the principle of the matter was, I wanted the window. I thanked him, but said I really would prefer the window. The couple let out a few harrumphs and said "I guess we could move" and the very sweet man in Row 13 said, "Oh, you can have the window." Now I'm in lucky Row 13, in the wrong seat. If the plane crashes, they think I'm married to that man who sat in the wrong row. Thankfully none of that happened.
2. Our five-star resort didn't live up to our expectations. I won't mention names, lest I get picked up in a Google search and their lawyers come after me. But, let's just say it's a resort in Miami that hosts many a PGA tournament. A little Internet research and you'll probably figure it out. The biggest issue at this hotel was their lack of available water. The hotel has a main building where you check in, then all the rooms are located in lodges around the peripheral of that main building. In the 90+ Miami heat, you head toward your room up and down hilly pathways and when you arrive, parched and in need of water, you find two bottles in your room of Evian and Fiji water!...with a price tag of $5 per bottle. Drats! Then, you see an ice bucket - success! - and drag your dehydrated body to find the ice machine. But, it's nowhere to be found. And this lack of water and beverage throughout the event continues. This, my friends, is just a little glimpse of what hell will be like, but, oh, so much worse...not only will there not be water, you won't have a dime to pay for it even if Satan had a lemonade stand. This analogy didn't hit me until right before I left, but I have thanked God more than once for my salvation from a place like hell. You want to hold revival in the land? Take them to this resort and withhold water. If the gospel doesn't reach them there, there hearts are way too hardened.
3. When we arrived at said resort, we were famished. It was 3pm and we hadn't eaten. We headed toward the restaurant in the main building after checking in and had an appetizer and meal. Getting a server to bring us beverages was a challenge (see previous hell reference). After we finally got our food, the server asked how our bills would be split. We asked they be separated and she inquired about the appetizer. We requested that it be split equally among us. Although the language was a bit of a barrier, she did speak English and we figured she understood. Au contraire, my friends. We got our bill and all meals were split equally. Sigh. Hard to explain that on an expense report.
4. I arrived on Saturday and when I got to my room, I turned down the air so the sweltering humidity would dispense in my room before mold began to develop. I slept well that night and woke up the next morning, took a shower and thought "Man it's hot in here." I just thought it was "Welcome to Miami" until I decided to check the thermostat...which was now a blank screen. Lovely. No air conditioning in Miami (see earlier hell reference). The very nice engineer came and said a fuse had blown or a breaker had tripped. Tripping, blowing, whatever, he took care of it, so when I returned to my room 14 hours later, I could breathe. Thank you Mr. Repairman. Evangelical note: There is no air conditioning in hell, much less nice repairmen.
5. The travel home started at 7:15pm from Miami and our plane safely hit the hollowed ground of Kentucky at 12:15am. We were one of the last, if not THE last, flight of the day and by the time we got to baggage claim, our bags were rolling on the belt. Much improved over our 30 minute wait for bags in Miami. As I rolled my luggage to my car, Bluebelle, and happy to see her, I headed out to pay my parking and get home to my own bed. The parking attendant said "Thunder is going to be a cold, rainy time this year." I explained that I'd been in Miami for five days, disconnected from reality so she briefed me on the weather happenings and forecast for this Saturday's kickoff for the Kentucky Derby Festival. As I drove off, I smiled to myself as I felt comforted that after a week in a town where very few spoke my language, I had a sweet lady that said "Thunder" and I knew she wasn't talking about a rainstorm. Dorothy sure was right...there is no place like home.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Grins and Giggles for the Week - Squirrels, Super Moon, and Surprises
1. On my way to work, lamenting the work before me, I drive by two squirrels chasing each other and playing in a yard as they climb a tree. I get all giddy thinking how they live life without a care in the world as their Creator takes care of them and remember...He takes care of me just the same way.
2. I just finished teaching an eight-week study at my church. This study was a churchwide effort and a great lesson in allowing the gospel to shine through our lives. But, the study was structured much differently than I'd taught before and many of the lessons truly stretched me intellectually as well as spiritually. Some weeks I'd study and read and feel like I just heard Charlie Brown's teacher in my head. Many a week I felt very inadequate to lead. I spent time in prayer confessing to God my inabilities and just asking for His Wisdom to see me through. Just when I needed it, one of the members of my class sent me an encouraging text, followed by an encouraging e-mail about how much she was enjoying the class and my teaching. Little did she know how much I needed that...not to fuel my pride, but to keep me going. It reminded me to be that encourager to people in my path.
3. A couple of weeks ago we experienced the "Super Moon." This vision of the moon was a bit clouded in my area, but I could still experience it to the fullest. It was on a Saturday night, in the midst of a very fun weekend, and the first full weekend of spring-like weather. Even in the dark of night, God provides the brightest of moons to make me smile.
4. I few weeks ago I had an employee who had worked for two weeks resign with no notice, simply sending an email and never returning. As a manager, I felt like I just had a huge fail as I was in the midst of three hires and after three months of recruiting, everyone was in place. My co-workers passed me in the hallway with that "sorry for your loss" expression as if I'd had a death in the family. At the end of that week, one of my employees took her eight-month old baby girl to the park in the beautiful weather. She posted a picture on Facebook of her sweet, smiling face as she experienced her first ride in a bucket swing. One of our co-workers printed out copies to sit on our desks. When I need that pick me up, I just look over at that joyful smile and can't help but giggle. When we encounter failures in life, sometimes we just need a good swing in the spring air.
5. One of the sweet young women in my life recently turned 21. I love her to pieces and she is full of artistic talent that I'm sure will take her far in life. For her birthday, I was able to secure her a tool for her trade that she needed desperately. I wanted her 21st birthday to be epic and this was something she had to drag back and forth from school when she needed it...which is no easy task since she depends on public transportation or rides to get her there. Since I couldn't be present for the surprise gift reveal, her Dad was sweet enough to video it for me. I love technology. Now, when I need an uplift in my day, I pull up that video, smile and remember that no matter how many times I fail in my week, there are times when I hit a home run.