It was nine years ago last week, on September 29, that my Mom left this world for her eternal home. Each year this day is always bittersweet as it falls the day after my birthday. This year was a bit more reflective as two sweet ladies passed away last week, one on the anniversary of my Mom's passing. It's always a reminder of how short our lives are and how we should cherish every moment. After reflecting on that last week, and focusing on the wonderful things about my Mom and not the sadness of my loss, I came up with five things I wish I could tell her. Now, those that know me best know I have more than five things I would tell her...but no blog could hold all that has happened the last nine years that I'd love to tell her. These five things sum up a lot and probably are the top five list we'd cover first thing if we were sitting face to face.
1. I wish I knew more about the 18 years of your waiting to have a child. - My Mom told me a lot about that time...the miscarriages, the lost premature child, her prayers for just one child...but now as so many of my friends are dealing with infertility issues, I wish I had her words of wisdom to share. Eighteen years she prayed and waited...in a time when there was very little medical advancement to help that along. Most people would have given up. My parents didn't. I'm so thankful they didn't or September 28 would have been just another day in their life and I wouldn't be writing this blog.
2. I have become you, Mom - As much as I may fight it, I am my Mother's daughter. I can talk to anyone, anywhere...the very characteristic that drove me nuts about her as a child. I remember wanting the telephone as a teenager (for you young 'uns, no cell phones in my teen years) and having to wait for her to make all her calls. Now I know where I get that gift of gab. I can make a non-phone talker into Alexander Graham Bell. I love giving meaningful gifts that are specific to the recipient...I love writing notes throughout books when I give them as gifts...I love to read, and am loving it more every day...I cry at the drop of a hat...I'm crafty (both in wit and skill)...I speak my mind, though mostly filtered through tact and eloquence as she taught me. Yes, all those things and more have turned me into my Mom.
3. My love for discipleship and mentoring was a direct result of your passing - This may sound odd, but the passion for discipleship, mentoring and pouring into younger girls and women truly was ignited after my Mom's death. What I realized was how much her life impacted me...not because we sat down and did a Bible study together each week (we didn't) or did any of those things the mentoring books tell you about structured meetings. I watched her live life....I watched her go through tragedies...I saw her flaws and her failures...I saw her successes and strengths....and I saw her walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Those are lessons learned by living life side by side. Mom, you are the inspiration of that calling in my life.
4. One of the greatest lessons you taught me was to make my friends my family - Being an only child, born to older parents, my Mom taught me from a young age that she and my Dad wouldn't be here forever. Thankfully, my Dad is still going strong, but that lesson included her instruction to make lots of close friends who are your "family" until you have a family of your own. Since I'm single, that lesson has been oh so important. I am blessed beyond what I deserve to have great friends who love me like their own family. And, I feel the same about them. I used to listen to that lesson from her and never give it a second thought. Now, it is like gold.
5. The prayers you prayed for me are still being lifted up today - My Mom never ceased to provide humor in most situations. Sitting next to her at just about any function was a hoot to get her colorful commentary whispered in your ear. One of her ongoing comments that carried a bit of humor, but a ton of prayer was "I just want to see you married before I go on to my reward!" Well, obviously that didn't happen, but almost until the day she died, she wanted that, desperately, for me. I think because she knew the blessing my Dad was in her life, not to mention the lifesaver she was for him, and she wanted that same blessing for me. I have an army of people who still pray that prayer for me today...and for that, I'm forever grateful. And, hopefully, if God blesses, I will marry before I go on to my reward. Mom, God is faithful and your prayers are still at work.
I am eternally blessed to have had a Mom that wanted me so badly she waited 18 years to have me and taught me more than I could ever have imagined. "Those who sow in tears, will reap with songs of joy." - Psalm 126:5
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Lessons Learned from Four-Year Olds
I love working in the four-year old Sunday School class. This once-a-month privilege always teaches me so much more than we ever teach them. A couple of weeks ago was no exception and I walked away with a few lessons learned...
1. You can make a fashion statement with purple makeup on your face - A couple of the girls unloaded their purse and the next thing we knew they were covered in purple makeup. They weren't shaken by the Indian war paint look they were sporting, but we figured the Mommies might not be too happy with this emerging trend. Miss Carolyn took them to the bathroom to wash their face. But, I couldn't resist calling one of them "Purple Piper" the rest of the day.
2. A chariot can be pulled by a zebra if a horse isn't available - Mr. Matt was playing with the kids and having them pull a chariot as we prepared to hear the story of the conversion of the Ethiopian. No horse was available to use to pull the chariot...so Mr. Matt improvised...and we used Marty the Zebra. All the Madagascar characters from Disney Happy Meals are ready to fulfill any biblical role necessary at a moment's notice.
3. Potty time can evoke the best discussions - As crazy as it sounds, I love taking the girls for potty time. They always tell the greatest stories and bonding happens when you do something, so, um, personal, I guess. On this particular Sunday, I had two interesting discussions. One little girl said she had a younger sister, and she was going to have a baby brother, but right now, he was growing in her Mommy's tummy. Sounds reasonable, right? But, her Mommy isn't pregnant. This same girl has told the teachers each week it's her birthday...I think we have a comedic genius on our hands. Another little girl described in detail how her Mommy handles her clothing when she has, um, an accident. I'll save you the gory details. But she implied these "accidents" happen frequently. I've protected the innocent by withholding their names. What happens in the potty, stays in the potty.
4. We all have fears - the only thing that changes is the focus of our fears - Hannah sat with me at the table doing a puzzle and was all snuggly, which I love, but she seemed a bit sleepy. I asked her, "Hannah, are you sleepy?" She said, "Yes, I didn't sleep last night. The storms scared me." I just gave her a hug....and was reminded that I was afraid of storms at her age too. My Mom taught me Psalm 56:3, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord." to get me through the storms. To little Hannah, that storm may be the scariest thing she encounters. But, for me, I have different storms now. In either case, Psalm 56:3 is the best answer no matter the storm.
1. You can make a fashion statement with purple makeup on your face - A couple of the girls unloaded their purse and the next thing we knew they were covered in purple makeup. They weren't shaken by the Indian war paint look they were sporting, but we figured the Mommies might not be too happy with this emerging trend. Miss Carolyn took them to the bathroom to wash their face. But, I couldn't resist calling one of them "Purple Piper" the rest of the day.
2. A chariot can be pulled by a zebra if a horse isn't available - Mr. Matt was playing with the kids and having them pull a chariot as we prepared to hear the story of the conversion of the Ethiopian. No horse was available to use to pull the chariot...so Mr. Matt improvised...and we used Marty the Zebra. All the Madagascar characters from Disney Happy Meals are ready to fulfill any biblical role necessary at a moment's notice.
3. Potty time can evoke the best discussions - As crazy as it sounds, I love taking the girls for potty time. They always tell the greatest stories and bonding happens when you do something, so, um, personal, I guess. On this particular Sunday, I had two interesting discussions. One little girl said she had a younger sister, and she was going to have a baby brother, but right now, he was growing in her Mommy's tummy. Sounds reasonable, right? But, her Mommy isn't pregnant. This same girl has told the teachers each week it's her birthday...I think we have a comedic genius on our hands. Another little girl described in detail how her Mommy handles her clothing when she has, um, an accident. I'll save you the gory details. But she implied these "accidents" happen frequently. I've protected the innocent by withholding their names. What happens in the potty, stays in the potty.
4. We all have fears - the only thing that changes is the focus of our fears - Hannah sat with me at the table doing a puzzle and was all snuggly, which I love, but she seemed a bit sleepy. I asked her, "Hannah, are you sleepy?" She said, "Yes, I didn't sleep last night. The storms scared me." I just gave her a hug....and was reminded that I was afraid of storms at her age too. My Mom taught me Psalm 56:3, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord." to get me through the storms. To little Hannah, that storm may be the scariest thing she encounters. But, for me, I have different storms now. In either case, Psalm 56:3 is the best answer no matter the storm.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Following in the Footsteps
Last week one of our ministers posed a question to his Facebook friends to help him prepare for a class he was teaching at our church for ministers in training. He said "What characteristics do you desire in a boss?" Instead of dwelling on that question like I would normally do and pop out with some elaborate answer after allowing it to swirl around in my head, I responded immediately with the first thing that came to my mind. My response was "Someone who uses their position to not only lead, but mentor, and develop their employees to follow in their footsteps one day."
I'm blessed to have a great boss at my current job and throughout my career have had many a wonderful boss. Of course, with the good comes the bad and the ugly, and I've had my share of ruthless bosses who would fill a blog with stories of their unethical and horrible management style. And, working in leadership roles through my church, I've learned to look at those leaders in my life I long to emulate and apply those good qualities and characteristics to my own style. Anyone that knows me can attest that mentoring others is my passion. My main milieu for that activity is within my church family, but any chance I have to walk life alongside someone and watch them grow and develop thrills my soul. Referring to mentoring in my response to his question wasn't surprising, but after posting it, a visual came to me about the second half of my answer..."following in their footsteps."
Many leaders are intimidated to groom an underling to take over their role. If we were all honest, all of us that are in leadership, we still have a twinge occur when we think there is someone out there that can do our job, and maybe even do it better. But, a true leader sees that our role is for a season and if we don't prime someone to follow in our footsteps, the vision of our work could vanish. This caused me to think of the Ultimate Role Model in leadership....Jesus....and those that would follow in His Footsteps and a specific time when He modeled that in a humbling way.
It was right before the Passover feast and Jesus knew the time had come for Him to leave this world and go to the Father. At an evening meal with His disciples...those that would carry His Work on past the resurrection...He displayed His leadership and humility. Jesus donned a towel around His waist, filled a basin with water, knelt down and began washing His disciples feet. Peter, the ever outspoken one, questioned Jesus' actions. (Oh how bold Peter was, but, hmm, I can sometimes be that bold with my Master too). He did not want Jesus to stoop to that level (literally and figuratively), to which Jesus responded "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." And then He spoke this life lesson....
"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
Modeling and mentoring. Service from the Master. Charge from their Leader. Securing the vision will continue after He has ascended from this earth. I'm sure the lesson caused many a quizzical look on the faces of the disciples. But I'm confident that many footsteps down their road, this lesson had taken root and grown and they put it into action themselves. The Ultimate Leader taught us how we should follow in His Footsteps....by starting with humbling Himself at our feet.
I'm blessed to have a great boss at my current job and throughout my career have had many a wonderful boss. Of course, with the good comes the bad and the ugly, and I've had my share of ruthless bosses who would fill a blog with stories of their unethical and horrible management style. And, working in leadership roles through my church, I've learned to look at those leaders in my life I long to emulate and apply those good qualities and characteristics to my own style. Anyone that knows me can attest that mentoring others is my passion. My main milieu for that activity is within my church family, but any chance I have to walk life alongside someone and watch them grow and develop thrills my soul. Referring to mentoring in my response to his question wasn't surprising, but after posting it, a visual came to me about the second half of my answer..."following in their footsteps."
Many leaders are intimidated to groom an underling to take over their role. If we were all honest, all of us that are in leadership, we still have a twinge occur when we think there is someone out there that can do our job, and maybe even do it better. But, a true leader sees that our role is for a season and if we don't prime someone to follow in our footsteps, the vision of our work could vanish. This caused me to think of the Ultimate Role Model in leadership....Jesus....and those that would follow in His Footsteps and a specific time when He modeled that in a humbling way.
It was right before the Passover feast and Jesus knew the time had come for Him to leave this world and go to the Father. At an evening meal with His disciples...those that would carry His Work on past the resurrection...He displayed His leadership and humility. Jesus donned a towel around His waist, filled a basin with water, knelt down and began washing His disciples feet. Peter, the ever outspoken one, questioned Jesus' actions. (Oh how bold Peter was, but, hmm, I can sometimes be that bold with my Master too). He did not want Jesus to stoop to that level (literally and figuratively), to which Jesus responded "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." And then He spoke this life lesson....
"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
Modeling and mentoring. Service from the Master. Charge from their Leader. Securing the vision will continue after He has ascended from this earth. I'm sure the lesson caused many a quizzical look on the faces of the disciples. But I'm confident that many footsteps down their road, this lesson had taken root and grown and they put it into action themselves. The Ultimate Leader taught us how we should follow in His Footsteps....by starting with humbling Himself at our feet.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Bedside Manner
A couple of weeks ago I had minor laser eye surgery. Anything with "surgery" in the title doesn't seem minor, but the impact of surgery diminishes when the procedure is done at a local surgicenter. Thankfully the surgery went well as my doctor blasted away some membrane tissue that was a result of a previous surgery two years ago and my right eye is all sparkly and superpowered again. When you go for procedures like this, much of the time is spent in prep and waiting, which can try your nerves if the procedure is much more extensive. I brought a book to keep my mind occupied during the waiting and to make the time pass.
When it was time to take me back for actual prep, I was in a holding area along with countless other folks waiting for surgery....anything from other laser procedures to much more extensive operations....but none of which require overnight hospital stays. I'm a student of people. I'm fascinated by watching and listening to complete strangers as I roam this earth...you learn so much, and have a few laughs along the way. As I sat between two curtains waiting for my number to come up (um, ok, bad choice of phrases), I overheard a conversation between a surgeon and his patient in the next door curtain. The victim, I mean, um, er, patient, seemed to have a deviated septum. For those non-medical types out there that haven't watched an episode of St Elsewhere, ER, or House, that is a displacement of the nasal cavity. And from their conversation, this deviation was caused from some accident. Here's the lovely conversation I heard between the surgeon and patient...
Surgeon: Hello sir, are you ready to go?
Patient: Yes, I think I am (with extreme hesitation in his voice)
Surgeon: Well, sorry we're running late...that last procedure took an extra hour and a half than I originally planned. It was a mess in there. (I think a HIPAA rule was just broken)
Patient: Oh. (I'm sure this extra information was TMI for someone about to go under)
Surgeon: I see the nurse briefed you on the procedure. We'll be repairing your deviated septum and you'll be on your way.
Patient: I have a question. (In a fearful voice as the surgeon seemed to be distracted and in a hurry....two qualities you don't want in a surgeon)
Surgeon: Sure, shoot.
Patient: How long will the procedure take?
Surgeon: About an hour or so, unless it's like the last one I just did, which is possible. If you had injured your nose a different way, this would be a lot easier. (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's what the surgeon said)
Patient: Ok. So, what should I expect post surgery?
Surgeon: You'll be groggy and the pain meds will work for a while, then they'll wear off and you'll be in some pain until your oral meds kick in. (Then the surgeon proceeded to graphically describe how gross his nose would be. I'll spare my blogging audience that visual)
Patient: Ok. (Thinking "Sorry I asked")
Surgeon: Well, I'll see you in the operating room!
I stopped for a moment and thanked God that I've never had a surgeon like that and said a prayer for Mr. Patient. If he hadn't thought I was a complete whacko, I would have gone over there and given him a hug. I wonder if this is what healthcare reform will look like.
When it was time to take me back for actual prep, I was in a holding area along with countless other folks waiting for surgery....anything from other laser procedures to much more extensive operations....but none of which require overnight hospital stays. I'm a student of people. I'm fascinated by watching and listening to complete strangers as I roam this earth...you learn so much, and have a few laughs along the way. As I sat between two curtains waiting for my number to come up (um, ok, bad choice of phrases), I overheard a conversation between a surgeon and his patient in the next door curtain. The victim, I mean, um, er, patient, seemed to have a deviated septum. For those non-medical types out there that haven't watched an episode of St Elsewhere, ER, or House, that is a displacement of the nasal cavity. And from their conversation, this deviation was caused from some accident. Here's the lovely conversation I heard between the surgeon and patient...
Surgeon: Hello sir, are you ready to go?
Patient: Yes, I think I am (with extreme hesitation in his voice)
Surgeon: Well, sorry we're running late...that last procedure took an extra hour and a half than I originally planned. It was a mess in there. (I think a HIPAA rule was just broken)
Patient: Oh. (I'm sure this extra information was TMI for someone about to go under)
Surgeon: I see the nurse briefed you on the procedure. We'll be repairing your deviated septum and you'll be on your way.
Patient: I have a question. (In a fearful voice as the surgeon seemed to be distracted and in a hurry....two qualities you don't want in a surgeon)
Surgeon: Sure, shoot.
Patient: How long will the procedure take?
Surgeon: About an hour or so, unless it's like the last one I just did, which is possible. If you had injured your nose a different way, this would be a lot easier. (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's what the surgeon said)
Patient: Ok. So, what should I expect post surgery?
Surgeon: You'll be groggy and the pain meds will work for a while, then they'll wear off and you'll be in some pain until your oral meds kick in. (Then the surgeon proceeded to graphically describe how gross his nose would be. I'll spare my blogging audience that visual)
Patient: Ok. (Thinking "Sorry I asked")
Surgeon: Well, I'll see you in the operating room!
I stopped for a moment and thanked God that I've never had a surgeon like that and said a prayer for Mr. Patient. If he hadn't thought I was a complete whacko, I would have gone over there and given him a hug. I wonder if this is what healthcare reform will look like.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Table Topics - Movie Lines
I love quoting movies. They provide some of the greatest phrases to use in multiple situations and, being a verbatim brain, it challenges my mind to recall them in a moment's notice. This table topic was somewhat inspired by Katrina's post on movie quotes she uses in everyday conversation. I thought I was the only person that used movie quotes on a daily basis. Some of my favorite "everyday" quotes are...."You're killing me Smalls!" from one of my favorite baseball movies, The Sandlot...classic. And, when someone says something crazy, a former boss of mine and I used to say "Ex-squeeze me? Baking Powder?" from that SNL-inspired classic, Wayne's World. There are others....but then there are other quotes that are memorable for other reasons...
My all-time favorite line, the one that I pattern my life after, from Steel Magnolias, "I'd rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
My favorite line that somewhat describes the spirit that is me, from Mona Lisa Smile, "Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."
My favorite romantic movie line (and this one was tough to pick) from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "Why? Why do you love me?....Because I came alive when I met you."
My favorite movie soliloquy that sums up my calling in ministry and always brings me to tears, from Mr. Holland's Opus, "Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a great part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him famous, rich, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich and he isn't famous, at least not outside of our little town. So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think that he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life."
So, today's table topic....
"What movie lines are your favorites?...define your life?....come up in everyday conversation?"
Please press play, and please be kind and rewind when you are done.
My all-time favorite line, the one that I pattern my life after, from Steel Magnolias, "I'd rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
My favorite line that somewhat describes the spirit that is me, from Mona Lisa Smile, "Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."
My favorite romantic movie line (and this one was tough to pick) from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "Why? Why do you love me?....Because I came alive when I met you."
My favorite movie soliloquy that sums up my calling in ministry and always brings me to tears, from Mr. Holland's Opus, "Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a great part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him famous, rich, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich and he isn't famous, at least not outside of our little town. So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think that he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life."
So, today's table topic....
"What movie lines are your favorites?...define your life?....come up in everyday conversation?"
Please press play, and please be kind and rewind when you are done.
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